


Cigarettes

by etheruial



Series: we love things that destroy us slowly [1]
Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, i pity san, oof, stan ATEEZ hoes, wooyoung is so not sensitive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-26
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-11-05 21:34:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17926763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/etheruial/pseuds/etheruial
Summary: choi san just wanted to wipe jung wooyoung off his mind.





	Cigarettes

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Cigarette](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14844998) by [etheruial](https://archiveofourown.org/users/etheruial/pseuds/etheruial). 



> hi so i'm really really REALLY into this ship right now and i feel that this fiction of mine really fits well with them so here you go
> 
> go on insult me for not being creative asdkhdjdk

choi san is on his seventh cigarette.

his friends was fairly shocked when they knew san smoked. his face is way too innocent, showing smiles and laughs way too often, that no one really know why he did it. he did it for almost two years now; but him being a good boy and caring for his health, he only did it occasionally. probably just two or three sticks per three months, and that’s when things go really bad in his life.

(hongjoong scolded him for an hour straight when he knew what san has been doing. seonghwa tried stopping him before in their old company, but he gave up when nothing really changed. he just reminds the younger to take a lot of ginseng and soothing meds daily.)

but in this past week he already downed three boxes, going for the fourth.

san knew he shouldn’t be smoking, he being the main dancer of the group and all. even if he doesn’t sing as much as jongho does. that’s why he snuck out, alone, every time he needed a breather. he knew the fans wouldn’t like it and his fellow members also reminded him constantly to stop, especially a certain someone who took care of himself the most.

jung wooyoung.

the person who declared would be his best friend until the end of this journey. the person who sleeps beside him every night in the dorm, even though they have different room arrangements. the person who always teases him about his dimples, even though he knows he loves poking it. the person who took his first kiss. the person he want to cherish, hug, and love forever.

he took a deep drag, inhaling the poison slowly. _jung wooyoung._

san’s ultimate favorite place to smoke is at ateez’s dorm’s roof. the back part is more secluded, away from paparazzi, and he can quickly shower whenever he finished his stick of the day, because he knows if seonghwa finds out, he’ll get another earful from the older.

after they upgraded the beds to single ones, the bunk beds were given away, but jongho sneakily brought one up to the roof (don’t ask why, even the rest of them are questioning on how he did it). now the bunk bed stays there, and the members love to use it every now and then. they once had a sleepover on that thing, but seonghwa and hongjoong didn’t fit (more like they have enough braincells to not overload the beds) so they went to sleep in the actual dorm.

it was a very nice little space to have, too. san was always lost in time every time he went there. if he smoked too much, he would sleep for a while, enough to stop the pounding on his head. if he took too long, usually the one who got him is wooyoung.

that name again. _jung wooyoung._

san swore he had become crazy over that stupid dork. every time someone mentioned his name, he would unconsciously smile. yunho caught him doing that several times already. every time wooyoung smiles, his eyes will disappear, and san could feel his focus is only on his bright laugh that follows.

every time they hug, san would held wooyoung in his arms a couple seconds longer.

and he didn’t know if he imagined this or anything, but he could feel wooyoung did the same.

lighting up his eighth, san reminisced what he had with his so-called best friend. he remembered one time they had a sleepover, and wooyoung _really_ had to put a flimsy tank top on. that night, san held back with all of his might because he knew, he’d go and kiss that bare shoulders of his if he didn’t, and that could go wrong in so many levels.

san loved wooyoung’s scent. the younger always has this lingering, soft, masculine but at the same time very baby-like aroma to him, and san could never get enough of that smell. burying his head into wooyoung’s chest while hugging him is one of his favorite thing in the world, no, universe. it’s just very intoxicating, warming, engulfing him to a bear hug every time he took a whiff of it. if he could he’d want to keep wooyoung all to himself, cuddling with him all the time.

san reached his phone, opening his spotify playlist. he scrolled past countless songs he had downloaded and put in his ‘to heartbreaks that hasn’t even happened yet’, and chose little do you know by alex and sierra.

(san seriously thought that the playlist name should be changed, since he realized, maybe he’s starting to jinx himself.)

he took a deep inhale. _fuck, i’m seriously hooked_ , he thought.

he blamed his band for his uncontrollable feelings. remember when he said wooyoung was his first kiss? it was their fault.

that one night, wooyoung chose dare, which is a very wrong choice seeing how evil jongho and mingi’s face looked afterwards. “you’re sure about this, right?” jongho smirked, “then we dare you to kiss san.”

the mentioned boy could feel his heart jumped up to his throat. is jongho stupid? is he trying to betray him or something? he trusted the main vocal; and now, he don’t think he could anymore.

san let out a string of protests, secretly scooting a little further from wooyoung, trying to make cackling mingi and cheering jongho to take back the dare and do something more… _friendly_. all while wooyoung just stared at the other seven silently. seriously, sometimes san regrets being friends with these crackheads. he couldn’t even look up to face wooyoung, but then said man spoke up.

“just a kiss, right?”

and dived in forward, crashing his lips with san’s, while the latter froze in shock.

to say the kiss is brief not entirely wrong, but not correct either. san was so surprised at wooyoung’s forwardness that he tried to shove him away, but the silver-haired man had his hands on san’s shoulder pretty tightly. wooyoung lips felt slightly chapped, but still had some plump to it. actually, san couldn’t remember what exactly happened. he didn’t even remember if he closed his eyes. but he did remember the feeling of regret after pushing wooyoung, breaking their seemingly very short lips to lips session.

san spent the rest of the game hiding behind a pillow.

breaking away from the flashback, san smiled bitterly, lighting up the next cigarette. for a moment that day, he felt that maybe, just maybe, jung wooyoung liked him back.

because the night before, they cuddled up next to each other, under the covers. it was even _wooyoung_ who dragged san under the blankets, it was _wooyoung_ who pulled san by the waist, it was _wooyoung_ who returned san’s hesitant cheek kiss. wooyoung was actually doing those things, and san was more than thrilled to receive it.

he felt like he could finally hug wooyoung all to himself. he could feel wooyoung’s warmth underneath the covers, and he was almost drunk from smelling wooyoung’s scent. he almost spazzed out when he pecked wooyoung’s cheek – even more after wooyoung also kissed his.

but wooyoung is one indecisive little shit.

throughout the whole night, wooyoung got out from the covers countless times, talking to mingi and yeosang, leaving san alone. and when he got back to san, he wouldn’t let him get too close.

what the fuck?

san decided to turn off his music, since it’s getting more depressing, and laid down on the top bunk bed. he had finished his tenth and last cigarette, stepping on the butt before kicking it away. now he’s quite dizzy from all the nicotine he had taken in.

he misses wooyoung.

even though that little brat gives mixed signals all the time, is very indecisive, sometimes too needy, a lot of times too possessive, san still gets butterflies – maybe more like eagles – whenever wooyoung is in the picture. san tried really hard, really, to move on. he even asked one of his friends (who is a very handsome man, known as the gaynation’s crush) out on a date, but it’s useless. everytime he tried to do it, wooyoung just-

“hey, san? are you up there?”

-see? he kept showing up, tugging on san’s heartstrings, not letting it go. san sighed, feeling his throbbing head calmed down. instead, his heart beats a little bit faster than before.

“yeah. i’ll go down soon.”


End file.
